Secret Shea Chocolate Chip Cookies

Equal parts witchcraft, scientific research, and trial and error have gone into perfecting this recipe. Only the brave will dare to attempt summoning these perfectly soft, chewy, plant-based cookies; Few are they who shall know their supernatural, cholesterol-friendly yet unsacrificing deliciousness.

Makes: A little more than 12 cookies

Ingredients:

  • 40 g unrefined shea butter. Be careful sourcing your shea butter; only unrefined (grade A) is edible. For readers in the USA, I recommend FairTale Ghana.
  • 85 g (0.5 cup) brown sugar or maple syrup
  • 43 g (0.25 cup) cane sugar or agave syrup
  • 15 mL (1 Tbsp) ground flax or chia seed
  • 30 mL (2 Tbsp) water
  • 10 mL (2 tsp) vanilla extract
  • 180 g (1.5 cups) whole-wheat flour
  • 2.5 mL (0.5 tsp) baking soda
  • 2 mL (0.25 tsp) salt
  • 175 g (1 cup) vegan chocolate chunks

Directions:

  1. Combine water and flax seed well. Then, store in a freezer or fridge. This makes a flax egg! Combining can be accomplished through whisking with a fork in a bowl or, my preferred method, shaking together in a glass jar.
  2. Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F)
  3. Melt the shea butter using your preferred method, and add it to a large cooking bowl.
  4. Add in the brown and cane sugar. Whisk until homogeneous.
  5. Remove the flax egg from its cold place
  6. Add vanilla and flax egg to the mixture. (Optionally: Beat with an electric mixer for a bit to achieve cookies with a slightly fluffier texture).
  7. In a separate bowl (or, very carefully, in a new layer in the same bowl), sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
  8. Combine all dry and wet ingredients until homogeneous.
  9. Fold in the chocolate chips.
  10. Form into cookie shapes and place onto a baking sheet lined with compostable parchment paper.
  11. Bake for 10 minutes. They won’t seem done right when they come out, but trust me; It’s easy to overcook this recipe! The cookies will firm up once they’re allowed to cool, leaving you with a nice fluffy but chewy texture.
  12. Don’t eat too many! Or too few! Eat just the right amount :)

“Plausibly Meat” Seitan

Delicious seitan with an excellent texture.

“This is plausibly meat!” – Noted Carnivore Ammon Hepworth

When breaded with panko and served with golden curry sauce and broccoli over rice, this seitan is a remarkable emulation of Wagamama’s “Vegatsu”

Makes: 1 loaf

Ingredients:

  • 240 g (2 cups) vital wheat gluten
  • 82 g (1 cup) nutritional yeast flakes
  • 5 mL (1 tsp) cumin
  • 15 mL (1 Tbsp) garlic powder
  • 15 mL (1 Tbsp) onion powder
  • 5 mL (1 tsp) smoked paprika
  • 7.5 mL (1.5 tsp) sage or thyme
  • 350 mL (1.5 cups) vegan broth (For readers in the USA, I recommend “Better Than Bouillon”)
  • 120 mL (0.5 cups) water
  • 30 mL (2 Tbsp) ketchup
  • 30 mL (2 Tbsp) Kikkoman soy sauce (Kikkoman is seriously the best soy sauce)
  • 30 mL (2 Tbsp) olive oil

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 165°C (325°F)
  2. Mix all dry ingredients in a large bowl.
  3. In a separate second bowl, combine wet ingredients and mix well.
  4. Slowly incorporate the wet mix into the dry mix into a dough
  5. Turn dough out onto a flat, sterile surface and knead for several minutes
  6. Shape dough into a loaf and wrap in aluminum foil
  7. Bake for 90 minutes directly on the oven rack, turning once halfway through baking.
  8. Let cool and enjoy! (Just kidding. Who has time to let things cool? Eat it right away!)

Undergrad Pad Thai

Put peanut butter in your instant ramen. It’s life-changing.

Decolonized Pumpkin Corn Cookies

Those with any sort of ancestral connection to the region will delight to find that this recipe consists exclusively of ingredients native to the North American continent. In particular, with the exception of maple syrup (easily substituted for local honey or more agave), each ingredient was widely eaten and available within the Aztec Empire prior to Columbian contact.

“But the Aztecs didn’t have chemically synthesized baking soda!” I hear you exclaim. But they sure had tequesquite!

I also think that each ingredient is either better or just as good for your health than its European baking counterpart. For example, avocado oil doesn’t raise LDL cholesterol as much as cow butter, agave has a lower glycemic index than cane sugar, corn flour has fewer calories than wheat flour, etc.

Makes: A little more than 12 cookies

Ingredients:

  • 56 g (0.25 cup) avocado oil
  • 85 g (0.5 cup) maple syrup or local honey
  • 43 g (0.25 cup) agave syrup
  • 15 mL (1 Tbsp) chia seed meal / ground chia seed
  • 60 g (0.25) pumpkin puree
  • 30 mL (2 Tbsp) water
  • 10 mL (2 tsp) vanilla extract
  • 180 g (1.5 cups) masa harina (instant corn flour)
  • 2.5 mL (0.5 tsp) baking soda
  • 2 mL (0.25 tsp) salt

Directions:

  1. Combine water and chia meal well. Then, store in a freezer or fridge. This makes a chia egg! Combining can be accomplished through whisking with a fork in a bowl or, my preferred method, shaking together in a glass jar.
  2. Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F)
  3. Add avocado oil to a large cooking bowl.
  4. Add in the maple and agave syrup. Whisk until homogeneous.
  5. Remove the chia egg from its cold place.
  6. Add chia egg and vanilla to the mixture. Whisk until homogeneous.
  7. In a separate bowl (or, very carefully, in a new layer in the same bowl), sift together the masa harina, baking soda, and salt.
  8. Combine all wet and dry ingredients until homogeneous.
  9. Form into cookie shapes and place onto a baking sheet lined with compostable parchment paper.
  10. Bake for 10 minutes.
  11. Huelmati!